huahahhaaa..im soo tired and exhausted..once again the start of school i felt like dyiinnngggg..nearly slept in class again..but i refrained..nah..actually it was too cold.. lol… i skipped school half way.. mwahahhaha..went out wid liz.. went to bangsar village first..den menara polo den mid valley with her relatives from sweden

wasted a lot of money today…lol.. im soo flat broke mann..i don’t know how im gonna get through the rest of the year like that..i’ve never been so broke in my life T_T ….i wanted to die in mid valley..i was so tired..and for some weird reason..my body’s aching all over the place!! dammit.. i’m so young and i have the body of an old woman T_T

i want the gorillaz latest cd!! garh.. but im toooo freaking broke to get it!!! and i still need to figure out a way to raise money for my japan trip..or i shall be broke in Japan as well..which is realllyyy sad…i don’t really have much to blog about actually.. just blog for the sake of blogging … uhuhuhuhu

sniffles…i just watched ever after on tv..the remake of cinderella..with drew barrymore in it… it’s still as touching as ever.. *melts* wish i had a fairytale ending like that 2.. ah well.. *slaps self* time to wake up…and fce up 2 reality ^_~

well…today is the 1st day of school in 2 weeks..satrted out really bad..i was soo dead and exhausted..i even overslept..grroowl.. but after break i was awake and alive again …hhehe..laughed n smiled alot ^-^ gin gin is back ppl ;p

nothing much to blog about ler…i blog already wan earlier..n stupid blogger got problem..so my post lost..i 4got what i blogged about di ;p huhuhuhu

i feel stupid..stupid and used… again…. how could i be so stupid…to believe times like the past 2 days would last with him? haven’t i been battered and bruised enough to wake up already? to wake up and face reality?? haven’t you had enough of your fun yet?? isn’t my heart broken enough?? isn’t it??

once again..i was used and taken for granted…being an object of his desires…not love but desires… only taken when needed..when nobody else is around…an object to remove loneliness… not worth sacrificing for or worth loving…

i was warned…many times by all those around me.. he isn’t worth it..look at the way he treats you..u deserve better.. just let him go… i ignored those advice.. i ignored my brain and followed my heart… to forever believe in hope that 1 day he might really change and his love for me might become real and genuine… but how much can a girl like me really take? how much can hope really stay with me?

i could have let go…honestly i could have… right now i could b with someone else … or at least trying to get the attention of someone else… be free… free and rid of him …rid of my pains and sufferings …the feeling of loneliness…the feeling of feeling like trash all the time..feeling so worthless…losing my self esteem more and more each day… but he had to come back… he had to sweep me off my feet again… continuously… with words and actions… stupid little things that melt my heart and make me believe in *US* … only to be cheated and lied to again….

when will my sufferings end?…… i can’t take it..i can’t…..i don’t want to be in a relationship where it’s only 1 sided love… but i don’t want to be friends when we are both in love… so what is it really? 1 sided or real love? …there’s only 2 choices i’m willing to take… to be strangers and never speak of each other again or to each other.. or to be together…but…having actual love involved … i can’t keep living in between.. i can’t….

haha..i got mah pics ;p but ian dun lemme post >.< neway i look fat ...so nvm..lol...

just came back not long ago from..erm..sorta dinner wid ian n family ^_^.. hahaha.. we talk a lot of rubbish man..me ian n drea …long time didnt laugh so much by just talking~! ;p im happy.. are u happy..sigh..school’s gonna start liao..just when im starting to enjoy mah hols!!! XS … morrow whole day shall be spent doing maths..how sad is that