Life's Bittersweet Simplicities

Archive for August, 2005

happy merdeka everybody..lol.. no..i did not celebrate it… i was sick yesterday so i even skipped mah exams..replacing on friday.. bad bad bad.. the next 2 days will be hells for me.. jeez.. SEJ.. GEO..N KH??!!?!? WTF…

went for the seventeen photo shoot thing.. DEAR GOD!! I NEVVVVEERR NEVVVEERRR want to be a model in seventeen again!!! jesus… the smilessssss they made me do hurt so badly..i nearly cried.. can u bloody imagine..smiling 4 3 bloody hours!! and its not my usual smiles.. they said it wasnt enough..it had to be huuuggggeeeeee lauggghingg smile.. but..haha..i get 2 pages on the mags XD.. hahaha..nah..no cover girl..u have to b registered in some agency to be a cover girl.. and i discovered.. the bauty editor of seventeen or was it female.. is.. WHOA..she’s like 30 yrs old..and when i 1st met her..i taught she was 15-18!!! CAN U BELIEVE IT!! i was like soooo shocked when sarah saw told me she’s already 30!! @_@

well..im doing the hair do’s thingie..u noe seventeen mag there’s this erm.. section called hair do’s then there’s diff hair styles n like steps.. yeah..that .. no make over thingie.. luckily ;p ;p but still..i want a fashion spread.. T_T *detemined* i shall get into a proper agency..as soon as…. i get off my lazy ass…… bleagh

but sarah saw says i have potentia.. hohoohh.. here comes the perasan-ness~! XD XD.. told me to try getting in wid some companies…lol..and she ask me to join the clean and clear competition thing..she reckons i have good skin… but seriously.. i don’t think i do.. @_@… it’s gone really screwy lately.. sigh…

bwhahahahaa..ian got firing from my mother yesterday..i insisted that i shuld send him to his grandma’s hse straigh away and he insisted he wanted to go home..and we were already late for sum function thing..bu sent him to his hse!! NOBODY WAS HOME!! and he had no keys..haha..wah..my mother… was like all… pissy n stuff..but i noe she wuvs him XD

=( …i nearly got a new free hair cut at grace salon wid colours… haha..u noe the female magazine thing..where they send random ppl to try out the stylist from top saloons..n stuff.. but it’s this thursday and they cant change the date and stuff..so.. oh well … there’s always next time.. hohoho

btw..i think i look quite slutty n bitchy in the seventeen thingie.. they trimmed and erm..altered my eyebrow.which gives me this really bitchy look…hahaha… but let’s see shall we…hahaha.. DECEMBER ;p well..late november since that’s when it usually comes out..a week before the new month..

oh well..time to go study… i said i wuld since 12 …and its alrady 4…. FUCKS..how do u read form 1-3 sej n kh in a few hours.. oh yes ;p i seriously do not noe a shit thing in sej.. no joke

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my brain…is melting TT…… bahhhhh.. ok..so i told myself i would study for this exam.. but in the end I DID NOT EVEN TOUCH MY BOOKS…. so which resulted in me totally screwing up today EVEN SCREWING UP MY SCIENCE!! *gasp* n i love science.. how crap is that….

feel exhausted..been really tired lately.. btw..haha..i saw 2 new baby hamsters yesterday n today they have sadly been devoured…. WUWUWUWUUWUWUW………..

i want to freeze time… LIKE RIGHT NOW…………… T_T

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insecurities

my insecurities just keep coming back…afraid… i realised im actually really afraid of being in a serious relationship again… eventhough it’s with the same person.. but the thought of the past repeating itself really scares me.. woke up this morning..with a dream… the same kind that happened a few days before out 2 month long break up… and then after that… when we did get back together..the dreams just keep reoccuring… what’s that suppose to mean? a sign? a warning? or just me….being insecure??

it’s depressing…i don’t know what to do.. but then it’s my problem so what else can i do but figure it out? sadly..the more i think about it..the more i choose to run away … but by running..i get hurt in the end… lol..im probably not making much sense… really tensed up and moody right now.. what’s worst..my trials are tomorrow..and i havent touched my books.. so…hahah… i don’t really know…

time passes so fast lately…if i could have any super power i wanted.. (people always ask me this but i can never answer anything except talk to animals) i want to be able to freeze time for as long as i like….why?

so i can stay in that special moment for as long as i want… no problems no nothing… just me and him….

i feel like crying…………………..

(2.oo p.m edit : it’s bcuz…i’m already in it…without realising…i gave u my heart entirely again………………………hahaha………………………………………………….)

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hate

i hate my family…not entirely..but yea.. i hate my family… particularly… my dad… leave me alone u jerk..

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OMMFG

OMMFG!! I AM SOOO FRIGGIN PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW… stoned and upset at the dumright cruelty of humans…. look here http://www.seo-blog.org/2004_nyluss_nook ..the post about the poor doggy …… JEEEZZZ.. get a friggin life people..if ure gonna friggin work in a pet shop… at least love animals and don’t work there because u have to… if the vet was bloody unable to come..call some other vet,, WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT?!??

that poor puppy…. CURSE U WRETCHED PEOPLE!!! ARGHHHHHHH!!! *runs around screaming* i amm justt soooo uppseet at this…. SO SOOO UPSET……..the pain the poor baby had to go through……… WHY DONT U TRY IT !! U DUMBASSES!!!

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