never there would b the word that best descibes him, never there when i really need him… he says it’s becasue i can’t come out 24/7 and yet i control his every movement … but what about me? do i wish to be in a family that TEACHES DISIPLINE … and what about the times when he’s out playing and having fun… forgetting about my very existence… am i suppose to be happy for him? when im at home crying and wanting him? he’s never there at the most crucial moments… or couldn’t b bothered might be the word…

the story of two very different people from very different backgrounds… attraction yes.. compatibility? who knows… co existance in peace and harmony? yeah right… how’s that possible ..when my patience has worn out? he can’t be bothered.. no no … his fun is much more important… let me go.. let me be free.. is what he wants most.. so be it…….take ure freedom and let me be……. i wish u would make a choice…….decide and mean it…….. don’t keep hurting me.. it really isn’t funny

watched bridget jones diary again..for the god noes how many time…. crying my stupid eyes out now…. AGAIN…..stupid really… to go watch love stories and cry like an arse hoping that something magical might happen when really…fairytales…dont exist…….

dissapointment rears its ugly head again….. hahahaha… i don’t know why i do this to myself.. continuously believing that maybe he actually does something FOR ME… only to find out the very next day.. he didn’t do it at all..and in the start it had nothing to do with me… hurts like hell it does…

my life is full of dissapointments.. haha..wont be surprise if i screw up my pmr as well =)

i seem to have found 3 of the most interesting blogs ever @_@ and they are all assocaited with each other XO …

1st person – fren insisted she looked like me so went to take a look
2nd person – boyfriend of 1st person
3rd person – sister of 2nd person

seriously… their blogs are interesting XO

an example of the entertainment found…

“WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?! I HAVE NO FUCKING INTEGRITY OR DIGNITY LEFT! EVERYBODY IN KUALA LUMPUR WILL KNOW ME AS THE GIRL WHO GOT DRESSED BLIND AND TUCKS HER SKIRT INTO HER UNDERWEAR AFTER PEEING.”

depression hits at the strangest times… and each time it leaves a wound and a face tear stained …. the though of suicide has popped out so often that i wonder.. maybe i need help or something…….

i just want to sit in my little black corner and cry …. alone ….

my greatest fear in life… would b loneliness… and it’s been visiting more and more often lately….i want to meet someone.. who can take away all my loneliness and make me feel safe and warm again…..