the thoughts of suicide play over and over again in my head…thinking how..when….yet…i cant bring myself to it…so many things undone…so many things not settled.. yet the pressure and the stress and the hurt he brings..keeps pushing me to that option…my life line shows an extraordinarily short life line which breaks into 2 paths..if i succeed in avoiding death the 1st time..i will have a longer life but strangly enough..that line also breaks into 2.. a shorter and a longer one..yes i do believe in palmistry…

i wonder which path i will eventually fall into and follow…..the 1st shortest line shows death extremely early…it’s more than 2 inches away from my wrist…a normal person would b 2 cm a way….maybe that time is now? …….

i want a life…that cease to exist….im not strong..i am just demanding and dominant…im stubborn.. but im not strong……………………….my life is so messed up right now…….. i don’t know what to do anymore

CURSE U my wretched sleep cycle.. GARHH..im darn sleepy atm… BUT I CANT SLEEP..been tossing for more den an hour..whats worst is im itching T_T.. those dman chinese superstitions cant possibly be true could they T_T… DEAR GOD? CHICKEN POX a 2nd time?? U CANT BE SERIOUS….

joined yoga zone… up 4 yoga anyone? =S .. wonder how long i’ll last this time…….. AND I AM IN DIRE NEED OF CASH! OMFG… ive never been so broke or pathetic in my 15 yrs of life…….

i am so stresssed..so stressedd.. ive never felt like dying so badly in my life……..fuck everything… im so tired of all the shit i’ve been through the past week …. seriosuly..i don’t know how the fuck im gonna get outta half the shit im in now.. JESUS..i cant wait 4 the 5th of nov… where i’ll escape everyone and be in shanghai for a week..!

right now i just want to bury myself and die in peace… i am without my most comforting item now..money..so shoping is a no no for stress relieving… my bf is a jackass..and i don’t know if we’re even together now cuz he taes me for granted so often..yet wont let go of me..cuz he needs me? yet strangely..treats me like a thing more den a human

sigh….i need a hug…T_T… big time

URGHH..ive never been so stressed out in my life!!! arggh… i feel like dying TT…….why i try to help 1..and i end up getting another in trouble..so fucked up wan TT

herm..life… relatively boring… money… negative ??????????????….. didnt go to school today.. =S dun feel like going morrow but i have to… aihyaaaaaaaaaa…….. HOWWWWWWWWWWWW……… wan meh..my mum super force me.. very kesiann arkk

watch the myth today.. quite lame i must say “=_= n dunno why the story..the end like.. super familiar.. another show oso like that..the immortal princess waiting 4 her love to return to her “=_=….

iii cannnnnn’t stoooopppp wassssstinnnnggg mooonnneyyyyy.. JEEZ!!!! HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW… and im tired.. OMG..HOW TO WAX LEG LIKE THAT!!!! T_T….. damn lar… why my life so sadistic wan…