why do the ones we love always hurt us most? this is a really good theme from the movie gubra.. and honestly.. i wonder the exact same thing….
i just came back from the hospital.. in the past 1 yr 10 months of being with ian.. i have been through 3 deaths with him.1 grandmother and 2 grandfathers. both his side… and both grandfathers felt like i was losing my own grandfather…
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i remember the 1st grandpa that passed away. it was on valentines day last year. me and ian were oblivious to everything and were talking away happily about our dinner plan when the phone suddenly rang saying that his grandfather was in the hospital. no one told us anything.so we went home to prepare for tonight 1st n headed to the hospital about half an hour -1 hour later.. we were too late… and we had no idea it was so serious…. we cried on valentines but we got a lot of roses and we kept them as a tribute to him and laid it on his chair =) .. sadly.. the dog kept gnawing on them “=_=
this grandfather. he was an adorable man and he was possibly one of sweetest man i have ever met. he was always on his chair in his white singlet and shorts watching tv occasionally a crossed checked shirt unbuttoned. he loved buddy and he loved all of us =) … he was often alone because no one was ever at home.. and i remember how happy he looked when 1 day i was there and ian went out.. so he went to the mamak.. and like he usually does he asked if i would like to join him… it was the 1st time i said ok.. because usually i would b wid ian…
he told me stories of so many things while eating his curry maggi with mutton =) hahaha… i could tell the ppl at the mamak adored him as well because they were particularly nice to him… when i was alone at ians house waiting for ian.. he would often start talking to me about life and his past and just stories.. he was particularly fond of telling me about pearl harbour while stroking buddy…
my own grandfather passed away a few years back.. and this grandfather felt like my own.. i only knew him for less den a year…and didnt speak too him much but he found a place in my heart and i will always remember him… sometimes i look at his chair and i can imagine him sitting there in his white singlet and brown shorts as always just flipping through channels on the tv…
i miss him….
and now.. his brother has just passed away a few hours ago.. yes his brother.. its a long story.. maybe another time =S
today is the 15th …. 1 day after his brother.. but on a different month.. this time we were at mid valley.. we had just bought movie tickets and were looking for something to eat when once again suddenly the dreaded call….*grandma called.. she said grandpa is dead* .. this was from andrea.. so ian called back.. and his grandma went *i think grandfather died liao* … this left us stunned.. and we rushed back there immediately..
thank gawd.. he was alive.. but he was moaning in pain… and he was vomiting all over refusing to get up..he just laid there sprawled on the table making noises and refusing to open his eyes… ians cousin had just called for an ambulance.. they said they would reach in 15 mins but onli reached 45 mins later dued to the jam.. the panic that went through all of us was enough to literally kill us all…
we rushed to hukm… and by the time we reached there..he was a lot better than b4.. we were relieved.. so we even headed off to eat a late lunch at mc d.. thinking it would all be okay.. when we went back.. everything seemed fine.. he was stable… but he had to have an operation because there was a problem with his veins..
i had to rush home and ian was tired as well…so we left 1st while his dad waited with him… we thought it would all be okay.. when suddenly ian calls me and tells me i have to go to the hospital now..the doctor says hes going to die… i was shocked.. literally stopped in my tracks and just stood there with the phone on my ears staring at space…
we went.. to hospital kuala lumpur..it was raining..there was jam… we had to run in the rain..moving around blindly.. an hour had passed when we finally reached somewhere but the guard said we couldnt go up.. so ian called his dad.. his dad said blah blah blah .. said it was on the other side.. but the stupid road was 1 way so we had to go out and go in again before we went in.. his dad called again demanding where we were..so we told him…
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and we discovered… we were at the wrong hospital…… they were still at HUKM….. gawd noes who told us the wrong crap.. we were in utter confusment..angry..frustrated…on the way back to cheras.. i suddenly felt a sudden emotion run through me and tears welled up.. i felt it..i felt him leave….but i wasnt sure.. i knew i was sensitive to things like ghost and spirits.. but i didnt think it was true…..
by the time we reached.. nobody told us anything..but we couldnt see him..his ward was closed off…. and i overheard them talking.. he passed away.. we were too late… AGAIN….tears welled up and i could feel my heart drop…. it was real.. what i felt in the car earlier was real….
ive onli met him 3 times so far.. he’s a pastor and also one of the sweetest man ever.. he has the cutest laught and the cutest smile… i was often made fun off my ians grandma/his wife because i was a banana and their family often spoke in hokkien..but he would always never leave me out and tried his best to translate everything for me.. he used to tell me stories about christianity and he always gave me little bits of advices…. today came as a shock because he was still pretty healthy…..and till now i still cant really accept the reality of it…
i’ve lost another grandfather.. and it hurts… i dint break down and cry.. not in the hospital.. i couldn’t.. i had to be there for ian.. but the minute i step onto my car porch and looked at my dog..i broke down..i sat there while my great dane laid by my feet occasionally nudging me on my face with her nose
….i miss him 2…..
it proves that love hurts and those we love always hurt us most….i wonder why…..i know why.. but yet i dont know why…
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dear mr woon.! the greatest pastor/grandfather ever! may you rest in peace and take care always! we’ll miss you and we all love you a lot. you’ll always be in our hearts!! god will always be with you! muacks!!! hugs and kisses!
