angsty and annoyed!

RARW!

over the years i have noticed the one most significant change in me would be my utmost distrust and annoyance towards people.

i started out at this kid who would and could trust anyone and everyone yet never really got on the bad side of it because i grew up learning to be manipulative and sly. i could have been patient with the people around me but i chose to be demanding and aggressive hence being given the term arrogant and lan si. it wasnt because i was generally like that, it was more like a defence mechanism for me. self protected and undependant on those close to me. i took pride in being the one people came crying to. i was the girl that would beat up the guy that made my best friends cry. the head of the pack for quite some time.

and then i started to mellow out choosing to stay within the shadows because people no longer mattered all that much to me. i was in my own world. growing up with betrayals and the occasional need to grow up too fast. and with the latter that was exactly what i did. at the age of 12-13 my childhood was thrown behind me and i was the sort of quiet girl who did what the grown ups did. or so to say.

as the years past, i notice my patience wearing thinner and thinner by the day. and i’ve come to realise, i really barely even trust anyone anymore. a last minute cancellation for someone else would easily put me into a state of utter distress and annoyance and the need to backlash would seem almost impossible to contain. jealousy seems to envelope me. things that never really used to matter now puts me in a frenzy of absolute disbelief.

..i wish i could stop my growing hatred towards humanity…

i want to be that carefree and innocent me…

no car =( this sucks.

pfft

am suddenly starting to feel nostalgic =(

je manques mon classe francais. or is it ja’i?? pfft..whatever

i dont miss miss my french class.. but i miss the language all together.. i hated how i was taught..it was vocab vocab all the way and it never stuck with me..because it bored me to death =(

i wanted to learn french like a child in kindergarden. songs and poetries and simple story books but my french school thought that was the wrong way to teach us probably because most of the students were much much older than me.

=( i want to start all over again.. with a teacher on a more personal level.. someone who would actually make the class more fun to be in.. sigh sigh..

3-6 Oct 08

decided to cook at home.honey bbq chicken. sam n cw joined us. hmm.. didnt feel that long ago @_@

looks good no? hehe. sorry la..im not pro..never bother to wipe the plate when i spilled sauce =S my mashed potatoes are awesome.com yo

with lychee!! yum

i was going through some cooking obsession. heh. made omelette rice for the boy.

rarw!

8-10 Oct 08

i love these milk biscuit things! these adorable ones are from the 100 yen shop

haha..bought this giraffe hanger thing

the sad mess that is my cupboard

and the extremely rare occasion that is my desk that looks even remotely clean!

Chillie! u may remember him from the guinea pig vid

this is how big he is.. Heh..

he was named after the word chinchilla because he used to look like one

muuuu