and im sitting in the same shop watching them boys mess around playing pool and foosing. i sat there almost shocked by the sheer magnitude of the whole situation. it’s been 2 years since i’ve last been here sitting with them and it feels good to know nothing’s changed =)

like loons said “being back in malaysia is like being in a time capsule” hahha the irony of his words. today i felt 16-17 again and hell did it bring back a lot of pretty good memories.

have i really been MIA for that long?

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

you know that feeling you get where you wake up and feel like shit and then all you want to do is lie in bed and cry yourself to sleep in hopes that you eventually fall back asleep and never wake up? been feeling that way for quite some time now.

it’s ironic how i was telling my friend he should quit smoking because he was coughing yesterday. he said he stopped for 3-4 years and now there’s no more motivation. i think it was more of the fact that everytime he smokes it temps me to just grab the fucken thing from his hands and take that long deep puff. i have reached breaking down point. not good. not good at all.

i’ve been neglecting a lot of things lately, i guess the animals suffer the most when im at this stage. i need to snap out of this.

i have more male friends than female friends. is that so hard to accept?

and why the hell are ppl that have been MIA from my life over the past 2 years starting to come look for me again. i hate ulterior motives, it pisses me off. i dont need someone to sweep me off my feet, especially not someone whom just walks up and leave whenever im attached.

i want to fucken smash things right now. hello myviolent friend, it’s been a while.

you know, i hate being ignored. this was one thing that really annoyed and pissed me off in the past because it was something you would so often do when you were cranky or with your friends and working. you paid almost zero attention to me.

there were time i sat on the bed while you happily used the computer and tears would be falling down my cheeks yet you wouldnt even flinch or realise at all. this happened a lot in the car. Many a times i tried talking to you and you would keep quiet and ignore me, and then i would pretend to sleep while my eyes were brimming in tears. Never noticed did you?

i wonder why you said those things you did because they were such short lived explanations and answers. You change your mind pretty quick don’t you.

I wonder if you even realised how our relationship dwindled down the drain as i apparently became more of a troublesome chore to you than a partner. i wonder if you noticed how cold you started being over the past final months of what was left of us. i wonder a lot of things and i wonder if you noticed a lot of more important things rather than that trivial matter of my apparent cheating on you.

well just for the record, i never did and never have.

and yes i am angry that you are wasting my air tickets and visa that i worked so fucking hard for.