and still i wake up feeling like my hearts going to fall out of my chest. you know that feeling where u wake up and feel like the world’s just shit and you wake up cranky and pissed off at everything and everyone.
in the 3 days i have been here i have refused to step out of this house going out only once to the city yesterday. after 2 hours i was exhausted and all i felt like doing was going back home to cry under the covers.
the weather isnt really that bad but for some reason i seem to have lost my smile.
last night, i snapped at a very close friend of mine. he’s always been quite a dickhead but not in a bad way kind just the i trust you enough and i know you dont mind so i can be this way kind of thing. ive always been fine with it just laughing it off but last night i snapped.
my mood was so shit i hade a sushi roll for lunch and nothing else. amazing really considering how much i’ve been eating since i got to australia and how it’s winter. that and a cookie bryan bought me in sydney in hopes that it would cheer me up. triple chocolate fudge, definitely sounds like something that would cheer anyone up huh. it was a good cookie just like he said but it did nothing for me but miss Sydney even more.
i fell asleep upset, hungry and pissed off.
and today i woke up feeling the same.
i remember feeling something like this the last time i was in melbourne. i wonder why. maybe this place and me just dont get along very well.
right now, all i want to do is sit under the showers and cry my eyes out.
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