i can tell what time it is by that empty feeling in my heart.it’s weird i guess but it’s been like that every single day since i last heard your cold unwilling voice. haha. how many days has it been really? not that many i guess but feels like it’s been a while.
i called you today.i rarely have the guts to press dial. your voicemail answered me. i’ve never heard your voicemail before but it left a weird kind of sadness today. it wasnt the voice i was used to hearing but the voice i last heard. tired, cold and unhappy.
i miss hearing you call my name and that funny way you drag your words and thank yous. i miss the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh at my mishaps despite the fact you always insist that you’re not laughing.
im thinking about that day when i walked past what one would consider one of my favourite brands without a second glance and you stood a few metres in front. you stopped, turned around and snickered while i continued to walk straight on. “eh? why arent your eyes glowing like they usually do when you want something?” were the words that escaped your mouth.
i rolled my eyes and said there was nothing of interest, only to stop in front of the pet shop you very quickly walked past. i clung to the window and stared at that little ball of fur and squealed like the kid i was “CAN WE BRING IT HOME?!” and you answered the way u always did to my overly naive demands. “haha, no ginny im not going to take care of it and it’s going to die. anyway my apartment doesnt allow pets.” you never did call me anything other than my name but it was always the way you said it that remains imprinted in my dumb head.
i miss you still.
and it’s amazing how everyday i can still cry.
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