how does one really determine when it’s love and when it’s nothing but mere lust? is it really possible to fall in love in a mere 2-3 days or is it from all the movies and books that we read that causes us to believe in such a perception.
the book i was reading today poked needles in my heart and the resemblance of how the intimacy began and abruptly ended made me smile. it was so much like what had happened that night and it’s image did both to hurt and to cheer me up.
“i really have feelings for you…”
you told me this the day i left and then something else a few days back. but i believe in these words a whole deal more. those replayed images might have betrayed me but i remember with every distinct detail how possesively you held my hand to sleep and how tightly u held me close. along with those whispered mumbles i pretended not to hear just so you would repeat them again in your sleepy stupor.
and then there were those moments where i turned and snuggled myself on your chest and automatically your arms would close themselves around me and a smile played on your lips.
but what i remembered most was the time i played the ps3 and i got so agitated i wanted to throw the control at the screen. all of a sudden u sat down next to me and put your head on my shoulder in that strange manja way i’ve never seen you behave. i didnt know how to react so i ignored you and continued playing but still there was a look of utter content that stayed on your face even when in the end all it got you was a pat on the head. that was your one random manja moment with me and i cant help but feel helpless at the thought of losing you even as a friend.
was i really that easy to let go and forget? or does it hurt you when i call? you’re so puzzling sometimes. indecisively so.
you have really smooth skin. did you know that? that was what went through my mind the first time my hand held your bare back.
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