“pit pat pit pat thump thump thump”
i usually relish rainy nights. today its sound resonates at a frequency much higher than usual in my head. the rhythemic repetition sounds like nails being drilled into my head and i want to scream in frustration at it all.
my eyes are burning again. i am very very tired.
yet i cannot stop moving. as we speak i am jiggling my right leg in such an unruly manner one would snap at me if they saw. my body aches all over.
i want to crawl into the arms of someone familiar and be soothed by his/her voice. someone to tell me it’s okay and that they care. yes i am needy. and yes i am clingy. and even more yes i should probably learn to grow up.
i did not need to hear you mock my parking today. i know i am bad at it. normally i would laugh it off. today, my emotions couldnt deal with it. your voice rings in my head and i am torn between crying or being infuriated. you are drunk yet perfectly sober. ah. such contradictions.
this is bullshit.
angst is eating me up. i am eating myself up.
i dont even know what the fuck.
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