When Stars Collide @ 11.30 p.m
someone once asked me what were the chances of us meeting when there were a millions of others in the world around us. so many more out there and yet once again that stupid thing called fate would throw us headlong into each others path. irony does that a lot doesnt it? how in the beginning we always think nothing much of each other, realising only how important these little chances really are when it’s almost too late, or maybe even when it’s already too late.
how often is it really that we would walk into a person’s life and feel totally at ease. to be able to let go and be who we really are; naked and unshielded, defences totally let down. why are humans so naive? so dumb to the extent that we would even allow ourselves to be placed in such a vulnerable place. is the joy of feeling human emotions really worth the amount of suffering that often comes with it?
being around this particular someone, unknowingly i had forgotten to place up my walls. i became totally transparent, allowing myself to be seen by him without the mask that i have learnt to live with. unconsciously i had invited him into my life, telling the most important people to me about him and even introducing him while openly showing my affections. and all this while it never became apparent to me on why i did what i did or why it happened the way it did.
i didnt mean to hurt you, i never meant to hurt you because right now i wish i could take away all your pain.
“you know same stars clash right?” i said to him.
“when two stars clash, it’s always beautiful” he answered back.
as short as it has been so far, it really was beautiful wasnt it? but just like the real thing, it’s beauty lasted only momentarily and now we’re faced with destruction and the beginning of either a black hole or a new neutron star. the former being the closer instantaneous reaction.
but despite that, i will try with all my heart to claw my way out of that hole and hold on with my dear life to that little glimmer of hope that brought us face to face in the first place.
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