On the quite car ride back, i left my heavy heart there. I had my words all planned out in my head; how i would write this post and what i had wanted to convey. It took me a little too long to actually open up this page and write, and every thought and every emotion now feels somehow trapped inside.

Why is it that when we find ourself falling in love, we always find fault with the whole situation and blame it on cruel fate. How we often meet people that touch us in our lives and watch as they walk away and probably never come back. It’s always easy to tell a person to appreciate the moment, to be happy that it happened but the truth is it’s never that easy is it and it probably never will be. So why bother with the lies and all that nonsensical preaching? 

Why does missing somebody hurt so badly the moment you’ve fallen?  Yet during the times it starts off as just an infactuation, that feeling of miss makes you giggle with glow and the very thought of the person could turn your days brighter than the sun would shine. Is love really such a painful splendor? It’s never simple is it?. Love never is. 

Every minute, every second with you now counts more than it has ever had. And i start to constantly stare at the moving needles of time willing it to stop, dreading that moment i would have to step out of that door and leave knowing how busy the both of us will be the coming weeks of the beginning of the new year. You with work and me with my exams and the start of the new semester.

A mere few hours ago i lay coughing in fits against your warmth as you gently stroked my head. I cannot even begin to express in words just how beautiful that whole feeling felt. How i wanted to close my eyes and hold on to that moment for as much as  it’s worth. I wish i could tell you, write to you or show you just how happy and contented i was at that time but no means of expression could possibly suffice. at least not right now.

and i miss you so much;

so much that i know,

i do indeed, 

love you and thats what matters now.