it is becoming increasingly hard to distinguish just what really is the actual reason of my constant feeling of loathing and dread over the past few days.

initially i had thought it was you, but today i realised it turns out that it’s really just the same reason you seem to be so edgy over the recent days.

i have never hated the constant ticking of time as much as i have lately. and i am starting to feel that heavy heart of mine gain weight everytime the clock closes near midnight. that horrid realisation that it’s time i stood up and take that reluctant walk towards my car, to cautiously step in and prepare myself for that long quiet lonely drive back  into a place i felt i never really did belong.

it has been a trying one week.

i wonder how long more it’s going to go on.

sigh.

give me back my lazy days where i can just stay in a place for days without being condemned as a rotten kid.

i am very very tired.

havent done this in a while. but my desktop is getting way overcrowded. sorry.

my prairie dogs T________T *whimpers* they are such adorable creatures. belated bday pressie anyone? =D

hello. le retarded is still retarded.

this is edelin. she makes awesome cupcakes where chocolate ganach with strawberry puree oozes out when you bite into them. she made me some. i love her because she is awesome like that.

said awesome cupcakes.

still oh so retarded.

ooo..more lights wtf

heart shaped ones =D

i look like i did botox on my lips!! HUR HUR HUR

when i still had goldish hair. .___.

wah lizard like floating on air lo!

he follow us from cheras to sunway spk (next to desa park city)

proof of his heroism and his ability to survive the ride on a putra evo 3. wtf

i look like im confined in a box. hahaha. sorry la i found this picture amusing for some reason ma. go away. pfft

it feels almost like you’re dissolving away as you drive slowly along the highway towards the flashes that seem so far away. it jumps at you from a distance, a burst that lights up the night sky and then it’s dark again. you are driven towards it, pulled by its everlasting beauty and then thoughts of death and suicide suddenly feel so much more real.

 how easy it is for a person to take away another persons happiness and basic freedom.

how the idea of life itself becomes such a foolish lie.

tired.

much too tired for explanations. but its that point in time again, where this home only brings pain and the destruction of my blossoming joy.

much too familiar.

truth is, it is nothing more but just another repetitive encounter of the past of the present.

LET ME GO.

what started out as a bad day got better in the end =3

a good long swim and a healthy new tan from laying on the ledges as cool water leapt against me was a very refreshing change. float and watch the shapes of the clouds change and i hear nothing but the echos of every sound. he lies there in the same spot i lay and talks about his past and i am grateful i chose to stay. a friendly hello from a father and daughter pair and understanding smiles exchanged.

tom yam seafood noodles in sentul and bumming on the couch while new games on the latest console is played as he leaves his trail of sweet little kisses is always a pleasant welcome to a lazy sunday afternoon.

yummy savoury crepes and the discovery of a new type of crepe stall in the curve (ringo: YOUR JAPANESE CREPES ARE IN IKANO!!!) continues on with ice chocolate and strawberries plus a sudden cooling wind on this very hot chinese new year. walk along the street market and a discovery of the favourite ribbon hair ties and a newly bought pair of earrings and i am a very very happy child.

end it all with cuddles on the couch, a very sweet kitty and shisha with old pals and i am contented as of this while.

okay. picture totally unrelated but i felt like i had to post a picture and i saw that in my album and i really like it so bleh =p

sigh. classes starts again. and so does the jam =(

lately there has been a force surrounding me, tugging and pulling at me. a compelling kind of want to stay submerged in the waters for as long as my breath can take. day in day out, these swimming trips never happen.

“you are such a kid. i never said that. you came by yourself”

you’re absolutely right. i am a kid. and every promise every sentence you say to me is driven into my head unwilling to dislodge itself. so when will you learn to stop making me false promises and say things you never even had the intention to fulfill? i am a kid. fragile and like every painful memory, i will always forgive but never forget.

i have always had this theory about you.

i think if i were to one day disappear, i would not really be missed.

easily forgotten.

that’s what i think i am to you.