always trust your intuition. if your body tells you something bad is going to happen, something bad is going to happen.
twas stupid of me to think that everything was just in my imagination. to wake up feeling like nothing could go wrong despite all the warning signs like a dead fish and quiet depressive air. go on baby, drive on home and park your car in front of that shop you once so frequently walked into. come out almost a 100 bucks poorer for some unjustifiable reason drive on home and start work. that aromatic scent of vanilla essence and brown sugar, your heart goes “i hope it works like it used to and i hope he likes it.” cookies done made and packed, someones at the door. too late for another type of confectionary but oh well, valentine gift discussion begins and a few frantic sms-es exchanged on whether it’s a good idea.
KLCC gave a headache, perhaps it was foreboding and the shop i wanted to get his stuff from no longer exist. something else pops up into mind but oh dear, times running short. tomorrow there’s still time.
rush off to bangsar and last minute chinese new year shopping starts. a few happy girly pieces here and there and ever thought is always the same. “will he like it? what if i have to meet everyone? is this too casual? i hope he thinks its cute.” shoppings done and i am very very happy. much too happy.
and then the downfall just had to come. my happy day shattered in a matter of minute and a tearful car ride made another happy camper unhappy. now her heads in a mess as well. it’s the domino effect. he kills my day and my depression kills hers. looks like double valentine got shot.
it’s never a good thing to become attached the way i do. it’s never wise to love someone as much as i have the tendency too. this weakness gives them power. a power over my moods and asprirations. it really is never a good thing.
the bright side to the story.
i ate nothing today but a cookie to test. and finished off my day with a habit i kicked quite a while back.
my first meal = a stick of menthol.
this therefore equates to a skinnier ginny. i guess it aint so bad after all.
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