The moment you are thrashed about in the current after a fall, you search for the panic button but you can’t seem to find it. Instead, you close your eyes and smile to yourself as you spin and scrape against the rocks of the rapids.

It calmed me immensely being completely submerged in the river, pushed against the hard current unable to find my bearings or even reach the surface. And it occured to me, maybe I really am just waiting to die. Why else would I feel so calm in such a situation.

It wasn’t until the current swept me hard into the rocks and I started bleeding profusely from my mouth that my smile disappeared. Still, I had expected my panic alarm to set it by now and it did; the second my head resurfaced and I was at the bottom of the rapids with people screaming at me to grab onto the rope. The noise set me in fear.

I got to the banks and I felt my lips swell, a wipe of the hand and it was covered in blood. I manage to split both my bottom and upper lip as well as push a few front teeth deeper into my gums. Gargle some water and for the next 5 minutes my spit was the colour of that haunting red.

And yet, if I had to go through it all over again, I would. For that precious seconds of complete peace and serenity.

Maybe it’s true that aquarians need the water. And perhaps a bit of pieces blood may even be present.