There comes a time every now and then, a time nobody really wants to meet. It is that time where we are pushed and heart broken over the same things so many a times that we feel like raising the white flag and just giving in.

Tonight I almost bought tickets to a nearby country, in a flurry of confusion and tears. An escape from the reminders of the harsh reality, a slap saying that maybe this road is at its end. I don’t know what stopped me, but as much as I still feel like flying off in a couple of days, I couldn’t bring myself to click on next. I am still unable to comprehend why.

Me and holidays. There are no thoughts nor barriers. I buy I fly, I really don’t give a shit. Just now, I just couldn’t do it. All I did instead was continue to cry like the stupid child I am often thought to be.

Its been a few hours since then. Exhausted myself to sleep only to lie startled and awake in the middle of the night. Something aint right. I know it and I feel it but really, I’m just too tired to even want to guess why.

Its been only 8 months. Much longer than either one of us had anticipated but much shorter than it should be. I want to believe its going to work out in the end, believe in that rainbow after the rain yet time and time again, it’s destroyed by the same fights that nearly lost us the war dozens of times before. And with each passing piece of my heart that falls to the floor, the doubts and insecurities pile higher up the wall. And its wobbling, threatening to fall with each changing gust of wind.

2 nights ago you told me to think about it, to face the stark truth that has been bugging you all this while. I want to laugh at the whole ludicrousity of it all. My dear, those thoughts had never even occurred in my mind. Not then, not even now for that matter of fact. And that would be the last reason I would want to have this relationship crumble and fall.

Yet, I can still feel myself getting worn. Too tired to want to carry on. And I think this time I may almost be there; in front of a sign that says beware, you’re really almost there.

so after visiting the aquarium it was a drive to Songkhla Zoo which is REAAALLLY BIG. sadly though it was under construction work when we went there so mroe than half of the enclosures were empty =( im pretty sure it’s all done now. they were apparently upgrading the animal enclosures so it should be pretty awesome because i liked it even when only a few of it was open. kakakka. ya imma zoo and musuem person. im damn tourist wan.

big tortoise. galapagos tortoise??

normal mini tortoises. eh damn cute lor. look like the fella suntanning

i cant really tell if this is a tortoise or a terapin =S

did u know they only turn pink when they’re in mating season or abt to mate or something like that. wtf.

ostriches scare me T_T but so cool!! got hair light!! lol

hello there! shinneh head yo!

imu!

whos ass u looking at huh?

hahahaha.look like he got horns growing from his ass. hahahha

poor lonely otter =(

he was the only one in his enclosure. dman kesian but he was so super cute lo!

sleepy head

damn cute lor his position. looks kinda distorted for some reason

what is this ah? some squirrel ah .__.

hi there

he looks like this emoticon D=

i love love love tigers lor

scratch scratch rub rub

more subtle colours make him look less fierce. actually its a diff pic and perhaps it might actually be a diff tiger. lol

rarw. im gonna eat u!

lickity lick!

black panther with piercing eyes. really look like that bad guy in jungle book weh

double pair. double mating. wtf. foursome

the cutest best friends ever!!!

seeeee they even eat together wan leh!!!

are your eyez going fuzzy from all the patterns and black and white. lol

neigh.

camouflage kau kau

lookin straight at ya bubs.

eeuuu thereeee!

giraffes are so pretty T___T i love their colour tones lor!! so subtle and earthy!

see how soft her eyes look. er.. may be a he. im not sure

hide and go seek

are u annoyed at the branches yet?

this is my fav fav fav from the whole set T____T so pretty right this pic T_____T i couldnt get back this colour on any of them. GARH

hahah neck distortion!

now u see me.

now u dont =p

cute little boy loved the giraffes!

and hes carrying a sword *o*

trying to climb in =S

On discerning days such as this, one finds themselves at a loss of what to do. Funnily enough, it is days like this that i find myself constantly whining about to have more of ; no plans, time to do whatever i want, more peace and quiet than usual and the most important of all, the lovely windy and cloudy weather that is of just the right temperature for lazy days of reading a book or just taking an afternoon nap. i have that today. and i am bored and unhappy =/ how more sad can that get?

in this sad state of mine, i wish to bake bread in my home in cheras or at least have a bloody oven and my baking tools here so i can do it in peace. i want to make mashed potatoes, potato salads and soft fluffy french toast but i dread having to clean up after the mess and to even get out of the house to get my stupid potatoes. i would love to have a nice big kitchen with lots of counter tops and a proper working oven and multiple hobs instead of just one or two working ones. in my future home, the most money will be spent in my precious kitchen. I MEAN IT. and it will be shiny and spotless and FULLY EQUIPPED.

i also want to read my book curled up on a one seater couch with arm rests on both sides but there is a lack of that in both homes of mine. there is  however that study cafe i love but then i would need to use money to buy a drink i dont really want to drink or be midway interrupted by a sudden group of noisy new customers and perhaps face a jam at the end. not so pleasant sounding anymore after i’ve listed that down. i have too many things to be displeased at today. i want too many things that i really can make do without today. today is a perfect day for everything lovely and nice but i am not the slightest bit content and feel whiny and bratty and spoiled.

i also want to watch tv with my lapdog next to me but they are not in this home and the ones here are too hard to control and shed too much hair to bring in. in that case i want a cat who will sit next to me and fall asleep purring as i stoke its furry little head and tickle its round little tummy. i would settle for my guinea pigs alas i get itchy if i hold them too long and i would also settle with my sugar glider but he is now going through a very destructive phase and will not sit still. there is also that fear that he will scamper of into the jaws of the dogs outside but closing the windows are not an option as the breeze is my only pleasure on this sad pathethic day of mine. ah the wails of a drama queen never cease to amuse. yes?

i am an unhappy child today. as we all already know.

that being said, i am however very pleased at the fact that i have a black bear that my mother thinks is ugly and ungodly. his name is Bono like the U2 singer because he reminds me of them for some unfathomable reason. this hard little hand made bear is the closest thing that reminds me of the bf and hence the most treasured gift from him at this point. it is also an unmistakable disaster to talk about Bono now because i am starting to miss the said bf. oh the clingy pms-y girlfriend i have grown up to become.

oh my gawd? i smell bread?!?!?!

i think i have developed a rather bizarre personality disorder.

ie : bored “si lai”

You know what really gets on my nerves and ticks me off to no end? The whole asian parent especially mothers that cling to their adult children and refuse to let go or even try to be more independent culture.

Not meant to be an offensive post and I know mothers will always be mothers but its really a bit too far when they can’t even drive somewhere within the city on their own without expecting their kid who doesn’t even drive to be her freaking GPS system. Better yet, said mother has probably been to that same place a whole lot more times but just refuses to go alone because she doesn’t want to allow her ADULT daughter to go out and have fun. I despise parents like that. Really I do.

Or parents that get pissed off at their kids and go into ridiculous spasms lashing out when their kid doesn’t stay home and study everyday. Worst still when they had a bad day at work and their kids get all the yelling over totally pointless reasons.

Is it so hard for asian families to cherish their husband wife together time after their kids grow up? Why cling and act like their 20 year old kid is still 12 is really beyond me.

Get an effing life already!

Your daughter has her own life and a working brain to know what’s right and wrong!

Then there are those that constantly send their kids on a guilt trip and enforce their own believes and ideals into their kids heads refusing to allow them to have the freedom to choose and make their own decisions without feeling like they’ve just done something horribly wrong and sinful when its really just something small like choosing a different path to study instead of what the parent expects of them. GGARHH!!! so many little things that annoy me in this topic but blah!! Cant be bothered to type anymore because I’m fuming more and more the more i type this.

And don’t even get me started on those kids that allow this to carry on. They are the most innocent gullible ones u can possibly meet and in this dog eat dog world, I’m pretty sure their gonna be goners being mummys precious child all the time.

Stop letting your parents live in their delirious dream world and grow the fuck up already!

(No. This post is not abt my mother. I don’t even live with them anymore .__.)

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as i am reading the georgia nicholson series which i so adored i am le compelled to speak like her. it is the most bimbotic young teens book ever written but is absolute love. 6 years down ze road and i am finally reading where i left off and she is still as tres amusing as i remembered her to be. do you not know georgia nicholson?!?

it is that strange girl that shaved her eyebrows and made herself look very much like an alien and calls her boyfriend the sex god and her tits nunga nungas because thats the sound it apparently makes when u pull it and let go. wtf. of course georgia nicholson is a fictinal character and the real author of the book is called louise rennison. =)

i think my sugar glider is on loopy land mode. he is clinging to a piece of clothe that was used with lemon oil to polish wood instead of eating fresh fruits.  this cannot be normal sugar glider behavior. can it? i fear he may be addicted to chemical fumes and all that sort of unhealthy drug like substance. which would really very clearly explain his rather ridiculous and energizer bunny like zipping around.

btw the book i am reading is called “…and thats when it fell off my hand.” which already makes u guffaw in strange ways as the title invokes many different reactions yes?

oh my! now the bug eyed little bushy tail marsupial has buried himself under the said cloth and is licking it all over like it was heaven made itself. i am wondering if i should remove him from this hallucinatory dreamland of his but it seems a wee bit much too cruel to take away the little buggers temporary joy.

dear readers,

i fear that if i continue reading this series i may very well become a full fledge airhead by the time  the month of august comes.

so i bid thee farewell as i continue on my journey to bimbodom!

i love you all.

yes i do.

(10.22pm edit : oh sacre bleu!!! the monster is on some mission to kill!! hes climbing and jumping all over me putting everything he can into those tiny little chompers of his!! his favourite apparently being my ears and my cheeks!!!! what have i done?!!?! what monstrous freak of nature sugar glider have i gotten!!!

OH MERDE x 10!!!! his nails are like razors and hes running up and down my bare legs!!!!!!!!

i have a hell spawn for a pet T_T )