For my extreme loss of blogging mojo =(

Even when i have a little spare time on my hands I just don’t feel like updating this space. i wonder why. but seriously i think it’s twitter. Everytime i new rant or thought appears in my head it goes straight to twitter instead of me opening up this page and typing some grandmother’s story that nobody reads anyway because we all know most people just stare at pictures and nobody wants to see my outdated pictures either WHICH i still insist on posting up from time to time *coughs* =p

But i noticed a deterioration in a lot of other things as well =/

It seems i no longer like reading?!

WHAT PREPOSTEROUS statement is that i also dont know.

Ive bought like a million books and have no finished A SINGLE one in well over 8 months… NOT even my Gempak Stars comic =(

WHY LIDDIS YOU TELL ME?

But i bame this one on my constant exams and assignments. read until also beh tah han wanna read books for leisure already. Just wanna grovel around and stare at nothing without having to use any form of effort.

I really don’t enjoy being busy wan.

And no i dont feel useless or under achieved when I sit around in the house for days not doing anything in particular.

I’m made for slacking.

yup.

right now i just want to curl up in bed and stare at the ceiling.

Yups.

thats totally what im gonna go do now….heh

People seem to continuously mistake the idea behind trust.

I trust you. I just don’t trust your friend. That’s all.

Is that sentence really so hard to understand?

People do not hold on as hard to their ideals as they insist they do because in this circle of life, the treads of fate are so intensely messy and intertwined that a tangled ball of relationships can easily occur. In the time frame it takes to unravel that ball, confusion and chaos ensues and for a while, everything just isn’t the same anymore. Things get shaken up, temptations appear all over and the words “JUST THIS ONCE” miraculously starts forming itself line by line, alphabet by alphabet before it becomes a full blown voice in the head screaming and screaming until you either close your eyes and walk away or close your eyes and take the damn fucking plunge.

We’ve all been there.

Heck, I’ve been there.

The companies I’ve kept and the different way i seem to tolerate and get affected by someone else is all a continuous repetition in life that seems to go on and on with different people and most commonly occurring to those that say “I WONT! I WILL NEVER!”

Ahhh, fate has it’s ways of screwing about with the lives of the innocent.

Believe it.

So when more than a person says someone else is bad company for you and freaks out; sit down and take a listen because maybe there’s just something behind it.

People behave differently with different people.

But only a handful ever really realise just how big an impact and just what changes actually occur because these things are best seen by someone else.

Afterall, if you’re in a a fight with someone, are you really going to notice the clothes the other party wears or the screams that come out of your mouth?

The answer is a definite no.

And in this way, even outsiders know secrets you would never want to acknowledge.

So really,

Are the things that comes out from your buddies mouth really the entire truth?

Or are they hiding hidden agendas and screwing around with you.

transition.

my minds swirling in a haze of loud dance music, drinks and sweaty vibrations.

flashback.

i crave.

much too sudden.

im in a wordy mood today.

music streams from my rarely used laptop speakers, shuffling in random orders yet all songs i love and adore.

every few minutes it’s a different sound, and with every delicate composition; i close my eyes and a new image forms.

now i see the play of fairy lights as they fall in and out of focus under a starlit sky and a wooden dock where gentle waves lap against it’s wooden beams.

halos.

colourful halos.

everythings a blur. but the changing of coloured lights that seem to beat like heartbeats of fireflies.

green grass. blue skies. white clouds.

sprawled bodies, hands intertwined.

checkered cloth. knee length dresses. little brights yellow daisies.

fantasy.

it’s amazing how the simple act of focusing on a song can transport you in and out of reality like the flicking on and off of a switch.

im nowhere.

but im everywhere.

im in car. the top’s open. there are trees on either side.

try hard enough and i can smell the fresh air of a countryside i’ve never known my entire life.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Come with me to a place of fantasy
I’ll take you on a sea-saw
Come with me to a place that’s by the sea
I’ll take you on a board walk
Take my hand I’ll take you to the sand
You and me will build a castle
Ready set go I’ll race you to the wall
I will win I am the fastest

I don’t wanna grow old
Bring me all the toys you can find
You don’t wanna grow up
You can be my partner in crime

I’ll be sure to write you from the war
Put your guns away it’s tea time
Water bombs and tea towel tired mums
Looking for a little me time
Close your eyes and count to thirty five
You may never ever find me
Close my eyes and then I realise
You are never far behind me

I don’t wanna grow old
Bring me all the toys you can find
You don’t wanna grow up
You can be my partner in crime
I don’t wanna grow old
Bring me all the toys you can find
You don’t wanna grow up
You can be my partner in crime

Let’s have fun, let’s play out under the sun
Will you take me by the hand
Let’s see how far we can run, yeah
Let’s play chase let’s put make up on our face
You can catch me if you can
We can make a secret place

Meet me at the playground, come with me, fool around

-Sia, Playground.