Somedays you find yourself hysterical and so tired of life that every little mistake becomes more than just a little. All you want to do is to scream and run off expecting things to change for the better from your disillusions of leaving.

And then, every once in a while something magical happens and your heart stops it torrid unhappy beatings and the little curvatures of your lips turn upwards even when you try to hide it.

Last night was one of those nights.

And a Care Bear names Share Bear saved the day.

It’s true you know.

Care Bears do bring joy and love wherever they go.

And then they remind you of the reasons you always stayed anyway.

And all you want to do from then on is latch on and never let go.

Sometimes, we look at the digital numbers on our watches; that little corner that tells us the date instead of the time and then we start subconsciously calculating time in terms of days, months and then years. Then we let out a gaping wail that tries to unsuccessfully mask itself as a gasp and do the mental calculations all over again; only, this time we use our fingers and when we realize the numbers tally, we let out another gasp, this time quieter and almost under our breath.

Yup.

It’s been that long and time’s passing by in a blink of an eye.

A month, 6 months, a year and suddenly its 2 years.

It’s the same with me.

It’s 2 years and just a little over 5 months now and I’m sitting here with my pot of tea, my laptop and sentimental songs that are not really love songs. It’s raining outside. In fact, it’s been raining for about 5 hours now and a last minute decision has placed me in this same spot just aimlessly wondering in and out of thought.

People say a crush that lasts over a few months becomes love – an infatuation that goes beyond it’s term.

Waking up next to the same person for over 24 months now, one would expect to feel mildly bored of the same old face and the same old scent but one does not know the feeling of waking up next to an empty side and feeling incomplete, like a piece of a missing jigsaw that waits to be found. Every morning I wake up to the familiar kiss on my forehead and instinctively i cling my arms arounds the neck of this very same person, reluctant to let go and having to start my day without that special someone by my side.

It’s been more than 2 years of waking up next to him.

And every day my arms cling on as hard as they used to 2 years ago, and on some days, it latches on so hard it has to be pried off or risk being late to work.

I love you baby.

I don’t know why.

But all I know is after all this while, I think I’ve fallen more in love with you now.

I don’t know how I will feel another 10 years down the road. But quite frankly it really doesn’t really matter because all that matters now is the fact I love you now; NOW, in this present day and time.

Today I woke up a mess.

A lonely, needy, depressive ball of a mess that felt too deprived of energy and lacking in the emotional capacity to meet with people other than those I’ve grown accustomed to, to the point where sitting in silence with them is not deemed as wrong or antisocial but just a quiet kind of comfortable.

I declared today “stay home and sulk day” despite my very busy week coming to an end and an entire list of things I still need to do and accomplish.

Alas, due to filial responsibilities I was forced to get out of the house by my lonesome self because everyone I called seemed either busy or just plain unavailable.

I dragged myself to 1 Utama and got stuck in the car park which was full and people going in all the wrong directions. This of course causing a jam since the road was not even remotely wide enough for two cars. A lot of yelling ensued from an angry man in a big car and the road eventually cleared.

Finally got my parking thanks to a lovely couple who pointed me in the direction of their car while patiently waiting for me before they left and thought okay, things are about to get brighter.

Went to do what I was suppose to do only to discover it was a pointless attempt and I had gotten myself into another pointless situation but refused to go home as my car was already parked. Mood dwindled down again especially with the crowd of people in the mall and the very annoying tunes of Chinese New Year melodies. Yes. I ABHOR Chinese New Year music.

Took a deep breath and made my way to the bookstore and picked up the first book that appealed to me;  The Reader, a translated German book.

Walked back down to this little cafe that caught my eye many times, ordered a cake and some tea and made myself comfortable.

It was love at first sight.

.

.

.

It’s been almost a year since I last picked up a book and read it. I’ve bought many but none of them have even left their plastic wrappers and sit lying in random places scattered all over Mutiara as well as Cheras.

Today, i picked up a book that absorbed me into it’s world the moment i started reading. The cozy setting of the very appropriately named cafe Whisk, their amazing Granny Cake – an apple cake with Butterscotch cream frosting and a steaming cup of English Breakfast Tea. The aromatic smells of freshly brewed coffee and the soothing sounds of jazz being played on their speakers and i got whisked away as well into my own little cocoon of solitude.

It feels good to finally fall back into the steady habit of getting lost in the world of books and sitting alone in cozy cafe corners.

For that almost 2 hours, I lost my initial sense of gripping neediness and jittery emotions and felt a forgotten calm and serenity.

Whisked.

Such is the name of a bakery that took me away from reality and left me happy and contented for quite a while.

All they need now is some sofa’s and I may be found there everyday.

Maybe.

I made for first Tong Yuen today!! All by myself! Bwahahhaa.

And it looks ugly in the picture because colour all is so retarded but it’s actually very nais okay!!

Lesson learnt today.

As with all days i decide to make something I’m unsure of.

NEVER!

I repeat.

NEVER!

Ever follow online recipes exactly because they always screw up for me “=___=

I couldnt get the consistency of the dough right by following recipes i found online and got so frustrated that i dumped everything and restarted a new batch based solely on feel.

IT WAS PERFECT!

Perfect for me la. Haha.. since the consistency an the chewiness was just the way I like it ^__^

Happy Dongzhi festival everyone!

La la la la laaa

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

So what is Nuffnang to me?

Nuffnang is so many things to me because of how attached I’ve grown to them even to the extent of perhaps calling them my blogging family.

I’ve stuck around since they started not really knowing who they were or what their intentions had been.A mutual friend had been working in the company and i placed their banner ad in my blog just as a sign of support not really expecting much of anything. However, they’ve surprised me over and over again with memories i can never replace.

As much as i would love to write a long sappy story about my attachment to Nuffnang, i figured this summary post would be sufficient enough =p

Wondering why i’m in every nuffnang blogging event in the start of the first 2-3 years?

Haha.

Well. I was their appointed event nuffie before they expanded and had a whole lot more staff. So if you’ve been around long enough you’ve most likely seen me around though probably not so much anymore as i havent been around all to often anymore.

But I loved working as a “part time nuffie”. Every party they’ve hosted had been amazing fun and they were undeniably one of the best employers i’ve ever had and for that i am always grateful.

They have also taken me on various trips and one of them had been to Singapore for a Christmas party. This was super cool because it was actually my first time in Singapore in years and we were placed in J.W Marriot which was AMAAZZINNNGG. I remember how obsessed i was with the swimming pool and all the fun I had.

Muahahhaa. Are you jealous yet?

I’ve also won some stuff from Nuffnang including this Coach bag at the Vaseline event for best dressed. And more recently i won their Lancome blogging competiton! So in a way, they’ve been my lucky charm because i rarely ever win anything =p haha.

I love Nuffnang.

I really really do =)

Not for the money or any other reason but for the people behind Nuffnang whom have always been very supportive and in their earlier days much treasured friends. Alas, things have gotten busy for them as well as for me and we may not meet as much but Nuffnang will still always be in my heart!

Heck!

Here’s a funny random true story.

Some of the people of Nuffnang *cough. Tim. cough. Nic* were the first few people to actually meet my current boyfriend. And this was really funny because at that time we had just been friends and the Nuffnang team ironically sat behind us and started spamming my phone with *cough. not so appropriate* messages =p

They then proceeded to continuously wink at my “now boyfriend” and a banter of “no laa. we’re just friends” — “dont lie” ensued.

Sharp eye they had because not too long later, we really did end up together.

Haha.

2 years ago.

Wow. Time flies.

I’m also extremely thankful to Nuffnang because of all the friendships they have given me. Many of which most of you may know but i will not really talk about here but a few of them have been a great light in my life especially people like Suet. The rest need not be mentioned as you guys know who you are

And of course, who else to thank if not Nuffnang for bonding me with the fishball members Natalie and Vvens so much closer. It all started with the Singapore Nuffnang Awards and the rest was just well, history.

Yes yes, we had always been pretty close friends but the trip was a huge highlight in our friendship as it was out first trip together anywhere and that sort of sealed the deal between the 3 of us

So there you have it.

2 Years down the road, and here comes the most anticipated blogging event again! The Nuffnang Blog Awards 2011!

Come 16 December 2011, 500 bloggers from around the Asia-Pacific region will flock to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for the Nuffnang Asia-Pacific Blog Awards 2011 in Putrajaya Marriott. The Awards aims to not only honour the region’s best bloggers, but also to bring together blogger communities from across Asia-Pacific. The Nuffnang Asia-Pacific Blog Awards is brought to you by Volkswagen Malaysia and Putrajaya Marriott.

Being with Nuffnang all these years, how could I not go for this one?

It would almost be like a friendship reunion of the fishball clan and I.

Haha =p