I like to procrastinate.

In fact, i take that as one of my more advanced skill levels. This probably sounds very unconvincing to any future employers i may have but fear not as this only applies to things that i do for myself.

So anyway, in just the running span of 48 hours, i have amazingly managed to get myself busier than i can handle with my superb procrastination level.

2 assignments, an exam, vanity dreams, a short story competition, a pretty tedious copyriting job, family obligations, some stupid career counseling thing for college and another freelance stand and  look pretty job. ALL by Tuesday!

WHEEE!!!!!!!!!!

But you see ah, i promised to update my blog and im here updating now. I know its way later than expected BUT STILL sooner than usual lately.

There’s actually a ton of things i want to blog about lately but these occurrences always happen when im doing something else. Someone seriously needs to invent some blogging mechanism that can read brainwaves or something. WTF.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANT TO BUM BY THE BEACH AND SIP ON COCONUTS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I’ve been known to be pretty anal about a million and one things which indirectly tells you that i also have about a million and one pet peeves that just tick me off so badly i end up not being able to concentrate on anything else once the trigger has been set. This unfortunately has to be one of those moments which could not come at a “better” time considering how i have my assignments due and yet i am here typing and reaching boiling point at something that happened not too long ago (ie. RIGHT JUST NOW).

I get how people that have been hurt or whatever it is hold grudges and have a tendency to avoid the party that had inflicted the pain or whatever but to hold on to that grudge like somebody murdered your family for the fun of it is just fucking irritating. Yeah okay, be pissed off. In fact be really pissed of for a year or so but to continue being pissed off and refusing to let go to the extent of constantly avoiding that person and even causing those around you agitation or discomfort at the mentioning of said person’s name is just taking it too far.

Hey.

THE PAST IS THE PAST.

DEAL WITH IT NOW instead of fucking around with your present and future.

People never realize how by dragging in their past into their present they end up muddling everything together and thus causing an even bigger effect than originally intended which would really screw their future over.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Im getting more worked up typing about this but i just want to say this to the person who pushed me to this point today.

DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW I FEEL KNOWING THAT SOMETHING SO LONG AGO STILL HAS SUCH AN ADVERSE AFFECT ON YOU? where the hell does that put me then? that at the end of the day, i am still never going to be above that or important enough for you to focus on me instead of something that happened in the past? People change, situations change but holding on to something that is no longer there is only going to create a time capsule of continuous pain.

I dont even know what to say to you anymore. Its not like you ever listen or that you even care enough to consider my feelings anyway.

*note to all my readers: this probably sounds like a rant about a bfs ex gf or something but no. not really. thats not it. i shall leave it somewhat cryptic. le sigh.*

i swear my conscience is becoming excessively ridiculous!!

not too long back the bf decided to bring some random fish home because he refuses to let me keep my guppies as they all had a sudden death when i went to aussieland last year. the fishie he brought home wasnt eating much despite it being an omnivorous fish.

so a few days back i saw the most DISGUSTING and long worm wriggling about outside. YES I HATE WORMS AND THINGS THAT WRIGGLE LIKE MAGGOTS!! give me spiders and lizards any day (i actually like them). Also, after absorbing this information about me, please throw it back out and forget it so you do not use it against me one day. ANYWAY, back to the story so i started going eww and made gagging sounds until the boyfriend came and said EH GO CATCH IT AND FEED TO THE FISH!

this of course sparked a series of OMG and NO WAY from me because seriously i am not going to pick that disgusting wriggly thing up so he went and got it and fed it to the fish. WAHLAH! fish very aggressively ate the friggin worm which was over 10cm long!! at first i was just happy because the poor skinny thing finally decided to swallow something and then it hit me. OMG THE POOR INNOCENT WORM!! all it was doing was wriggling its way back into the dirt from the tiles and in a flurry of unknown movements, it’s being drowned in water and suddenly ends up being bitten and swallowed by a fish with teeth! …. i was genuinely appalled at the whole idea of how i may have just contributed to the death of the very disgusting worm in such a torturous manner!! .___. drowning and being beheaded via bites is pretty hell fucked up aye.

and then yesterday another depressing though dawned upon me.

if most of you dont already know, the current place im living in is literally infested with mosquitoes so in order to help elevate this problem we have mosquito traps. the kind where the light and co2 attracts the mozzies and then it gets sucked into the trap and can’t escape. i’ve had it for a while now and ive never had any qualms about squishing and killing mosquitoes because they really piss the hell out of me (i am a walking mosquito attraction). so anyway the first trap we had was just like that and one sucked it they cant escape. my mum got me another one where you can put sticky paper at the bottom so the trap doesnt need to be continuously on (if u switch it off the fan stops so the mozzies can fly back out) since the mozzies get stuck on the paper.

i opened the trap to count how many mosquitoes there were and a few of them were still alive trying their best to escape T___T and i got hit by another level of guilt trippin. I AM TORTURING THE MOSQUITOES!!! you see, if i had a zapper or if i squished them, it would be an instant death. no suffering no nothing but these so called eco friendly traps work by trapping the mosquitoes and then they eventually die from dehydration!! BUT OMG CAN U IMAGINE HOW TRAGIC IT IS?!?! i am actually causing the mosquitoes to slowly dehydrate and die from it in a slow and depressing manner T_____T

now im in such a dilemma i don’t know what to do because the stupid voice in my head won’t stop mocking me T___T

i am evil.

i feel evil.

somebody help me. PFFT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA damn you conscience!!

I KNOW IVE SUDDENLY GONE MISSING AGAIN BUT I SWEAR IM SO BUSY I DONT EVEN HAVE TIME FOR TV AND BOOKS ANYMORE!! PLS KEEL ME NAO!!

actually i shouldnt even be blogging right now but i can’t help myself. I’ve had a rather depressing day with barely anytime for myself so here i am ranting away and letting the world know about the tragedies that seem to like befalling careless ginny and how her day was filled with forgetfulness and tragedies D=

im pretty careless normally but today i seemed to be at higher form than usual WTF

So as usualy la im the queen of last minute assignment wan. so last night cannot sleep properly cuz brain was partially in panic mode but overall i was just too tired to continue so pandai pandai lah go wake up this morning and do. VERY GOOD. finished the assignment with an hour to spare before class starts! actually i thought class was starting an hour earlier (i saw the wrong time on my watch) and went into panic frenzy mode because i thought i was late and while in the spur of frenzies note printings, i didnt noticed that i printed abt 30 PDF files wrongly…. so i had to throw them all aside (to be used a scrap paper) and reprint them in the correct order and alignment again. WUWUUW

den nvm i had to study for quiz then my lecturer said read this article thingie so okay la i go baca la. den because i had an hour to spare i read slowly all thinking that was all i needed to read. 45 mins b4 class i decide okay la im gonna go class early today but packed up my stuff all and then i was left with half an hour.

so i drive to college and lo and behold. tragedy. no parking in my usual spot. rounded for over 20 mins. finally got a parking somewhere much further than i normally park. rushed to class and i was only 5 mins late and quiz already started. TRAGEDY AGAIN. only 1 question from the quiz came form the stupid article. eveyrthing else was from last weeks class which i didnt even bother to read because it was the first time my lecturer sent out a msg telling us that the article reading will be in our quiz. WTF. in panic frenzied mode i could not think and literally almost eveyrthing wrong when in truth they were all very simple answers and i knew them like the back of my hand but the disorientation and rush i was in made my answers go whacked as well.

AND THEN i wanted to whip my phone out to twitter about my tragedy and i realised i left my freaking phone at home?!?!? HOMAIGAD!! tragedy max because immediately after class i was suppose to meet some friends and we hadnt decided on a spot and i didnt have their nos! so i borrowed my friends laptop to attempt to go into fb in hopes they would be online and when the laptop came into my lap the internet decides to fuck up and i cannot sign into my FB T___T

not long after i go down and hand up my assignment that i had not stapled because i wasnt sure if they needed this one extra piece (i brought a staple n staples thinking im damn smart) hand up that time i realise OH FML. NO WONDER IT FELT WEIRD THAT I HAD to write my group mates name n IDS at random places. I FORGOT THE FREAKING COVER PAGE?!?! I MEAN SERIOUSLY??! WHO FORGETS COVER PAGES?!?! sigh. lecturer doesnt realise and i hope she doesnt minus any marks for that U__U or im gonna feel so guilty. but thats not really our final assignment anyway. she makes us hand in weekly basis so our tutor can check on our stuff before the final compilation. I THINK. so she cant really minus marks for me forgetting a cover page right T_T the names and IDs are on all other pages. zzz

so in my stressed mode i skipped half my class drove all the way back because my appt was in abt 45 mins. found my phone told them what happen and collected myself for a while before going out again.

new tragedy arises.

i go out and realise the main gate is open….. it didnt shut when i pressed the remote earlier and because i was in such a rush i didnt turn around to double check and the dog went out when he normally stays in even if the door is open T_T and so i am alte to meet my friends and i spent a good 15-20 mins running around the neighbourhood trying to catch the dog because for some reason he wanted to be defiant and ran off everytime i came near contrary to how he would normally be obedient. he just had to pick a day when i was late to run out and refuse to come back in T_T BEST PART. i was wearing a double layered maxi dress and the sun was super hot.

i swear all the running around, my exercise quota was made.

went to bangsar shopping center and i normally use touch n go but my touch n go didnt have enough credit. ZZZZ

after that nth much happened lar.

but busy non stop until now. its already 12 am and i only had a bit of time for myself just now and i still havent started on my next assignment which i had earlier anticipated that i would have finished by now U_U

actually got a lot more to rant wan but im having headache adi and my arm is aching cuz i have to type with my arms up thanks to my charm bracelets wtf

K THX BYE

so busy!!!

so hectic!!!

WHY WHY WHY?!?!?

i cant deal with this!!

AHHHHHH!!!

LIFE ON HOLD.