…

that’s what i am.

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I miss you.

The song Some Other Time by Barbra Streisand plays in the background and the words “where has the time gone” keeps replaying itself in my head.

I open my blog every now and then before staring at the last post and the date. This makes me glance at my watch and the same very thoughts start make their appearances; – “where has the time gone?”

Day becomes night and night becomes day repetitively without fail and at some point i lose track of time, days and dates.

It’s not that i am up and about being busy with every minute that i have. Yet so many restrictions and responsibilities weigh themselves in my face and my brain automatically takes this as a queue to go into a shut off mode and not do anything i want to do.

All those times of saying i want to play my playstation, i want to finish reading a book, i want to paint a picture and the many more that i have made in worded promises or even written down in this very blog or anywhere else never seem to happen. Then i look at the date and it’s almost the end of the year.

Time is a funny thing.

I seem to work in funnier ways.

This weekend,

I think i’m going to bake a cake. Or perhaps i shall make some cookies instead.

Who cares if i have a paper on Monday.

My heart just isn’t there.

I want to do something I love instead.

-7.40p.m-

Hotel rooms.

I crave them much too often than I should.

And more often than not, I wished I could just check myself in and hide there for a while.

Alone.

But then I wonder, why pay so much money to sink into an unfamiliar bed just to cry myself to sleep?

Fact is, I don’t know.

All I know is, that’s what I wish I could do if I could really afford it.

Hotel rooms.

If they could talk, they would tell you so many different stories. That chair in that corner would have so much to say and those pillows would have a million emotions to share.

What was the previous guest like?

Was he alone? Was he lonely?

Or was he with someone? Someone special or just someone?

What were the thoughts running in every guests head?

Was the previous guest just like me?

Or was he was genuinely happy.

What secrets would the cracking walls whisper and what moving images would the mirrors reflect?

So much goes on.

All that history in the dimly lit rooms I crave.

Even mine becomes a part of that room whos number I will not remember.

Hotel rooms.

I need you more than ever.

I like to procrastinate.

In fact, i take that as one of my more advanced skill levels. This probably sounds very unconvincing to any future employers i may have but fear not as this only applies to things that i do for myself.

So anyway, in just the running span of 48 hours, i have amazingly managed to get myself busier than i can handle with my superb procrastination level.

2 assignments, an exam, vanity dreams, a short story competition, a pretty tedious copyriting job, family obligations, some stupid career counseling thing for college and another freelance stand and  look pretty job. ALL by Tuesday!

WHEEE!!!!!!!!!!

But you see ah, i promised to update my blog and im here updating now. I know its way later than expected BUT STILL sooner than usual lately.

There’s actually a ton of things i want to blog about lately but these occurrences always happen when im doing something else. Someone seriously needs to invent some blogging mechanism that can read brainwaves or something. WTF.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANT TO BUM BY THE BEACH AND SIP ON COCONUTS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

transition.

my minds swirling in a haze of loud dance music, drinks and sweaty vibrations.

flashback.

i crave.

much too sudden.

im in a wordy mood today.

music streams from my rarely used laptop speakers, shuffling in random orders yet all songs i love and adore.

every few minutes it’s a different sound, and with every delicate composition; i close my eyes and a new image forms.

now i see the play of fairy lights as they fall in and out of focus under a starlit sky and a wooden dock where gentle waves lap against it’s wooden beams.

halos.

colourful halos.

everythings a blur. but the changing of coloured lights that seem to beat like heartbeats of fireflies.

green grass. blue skies. white clouds.

sprawled bodies, hands intertwined.

checkered cloth. knee length dresses. little brights yellow daisies.

fantasy.

it’s amazing how the simple act of focusing on a song can transport you in and out of reality like the flicking on and off of a switch.

im nowhere.

but im everywhere.

im in car. the top’s open. there are trees on either side.

try hard enough and i can smell the fresh air of a countryside i’ve never known my entire life.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Come with me to a place of fantasy
I’ll take you on a sea-saw
Come with me to a place that’s by the sea
I’ll take you on a board walk
Take my hand I’ll take you to the sand
You and me will build a castle
Ready set go I’ll race you to the wall
I will win I am the fastest

I don’t wanna grow old
Bring me all the toys you can find
You don’t wanna grow up
You can be my partner in crime

I’ll be sure to write you from the war
Put your guns away it’s tea time
Water bombs and tea towel tired mums
Looking for a little me time
Close your eyes and count to thirty five
You may never ever find me
Close my eyes and then I realise
You are never far behind me

I don’t wanna grow old
Bring me all the toys you can find
You don’t wanna grow up
You can be my partner in crime
I don’t wanna grow old
Bring me all the toys you can find
You don’t wanna grow up
You can be my partner in crime

Let’s have fun, let’s play out under the sun
Will you take me by the hand
Let’s see how far we can run, yeah
Let’s play chase let’s put make up on our face
You can catch me if you can
We can make a secret place

Meet me at the playground, come with me, fool around

-Sia, Playground.