11.20pm edit

I dont know why but this video is causing a lot of racist arguments instead of the point. seriously ppl??

hey,

i get it. maybe the dog was harmful maybe it wasn’t and i know it’s for the safety of the neighbourhood but what i don’t get is how they couldn’t have dealt with it in a better way =/

perhaps a little more educations on handling the matter like tranquilizing the poor fella and handing it to more experienced ppl to put it down or to send it to a shelter to see the dog’s temperament to try and give it another chance instead.

WHY is the video instead causing ppl to argue against one another about being of a different race or a hypocrite or things like that.

sigh.

and i cant help but wonder. if that dog was a damn poodle, would this video be getting more united awareness instead..

miehh

*~*~*~*~*~*

At some point, I’ve pretty much given up on the whole animal cruelty stint.

A big part of me has died so many times that i no longer have much reaction anymore in compared to how i used to react despite that pounding agitation and the usual sting of tears.

But… this being done legally in Malaysia despite all the hoohaa that was created over the whole poodle and cat issue and all the press media, i can’t help but want to blog about this and ask why isn’t anything being done about situations like this?

Hey i get it that some stray dogs really need to be dealt with but isn’t doing it this way a little too much?

What really broke my heart was what the person who took this video said in his description,

“my 3 years old daughter asked me, what are they doing? what am i to answer her??”

Yeah, what do you answer her?

Actually,

What do you answer anyone who even understands the meaning of humanity?

3 steps on the 2nd of every month…

Step 1: Pretend to be just friends.

Step 2: Do a stupid “cute” pose

Step 3: IT WAS COMPLETELY ACCIDENTAL. =X

I’ve been known to be pretty anal about a million and one things which indirectly tells you that i also have about a million and one pet peeves that just tick me off so badly i end up not being able to concentrate on anything else once the trigger has been set. This unfortunately has to be one of those moments which could not come at a “better” time considering how i have my assignments due and yet i am here typing and reaching boiling point at something that happened not too long ago (ie. RIGHT JUST NOW).

I get how people that have been hurt or whatever it is hold grudges and have a tendency to avoid the party that had inflicted the pain or whatever but to hold on to that grudge like somebody murdered your family for the fun of it is just fucking irritating. Yeah okay, be pissed off. In fact be really pissed of for a year or so but to continue being pissed off and refusing to let go to the extent of constantly avoiding that person and even causing those around you agitation or discomfort at the mentioning of said person’s name is just taking it too far.

Hey.

THE PAST IS THE PAST.

DEAL WITH IT NOW instead of fucking around with your present and future.

People never realize how by dragging in their past into their present they end up muddling everything together and thus causing an even bigger effect than originally intended which would really screw their future over.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Im getting more worked up typing about this but i just want to say this to the person who pushed me to this point today.

DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW I FEEL KNOWING THAT SOMETHING SO LONG AGO STILL HAS SUCH AN ADVERSE AFFECT ON YOU? where the hell does that put me then? that at the end of the day, i am still never going to be above that or important enough for you to focus on me instead of something that happened in the past? People change, situations change but holding on to something that is no longer there is only going to create a time capsule of continuous pain.

I dont even know what to say to you anymore. Its not like you ever listen or that you even care enough to consider my feelings anyway.

*note to all my readers: this probably sounds like a rant about a bfs ex gf or something but no. not really. thats not it. i shall leave it somewhat cryptic. le sigh.*

I KNOW IVE SUDDENLY GONE MISSING AGAIN BUT I SWEAR IM SO BUSY I DONT EVEN HAVE TIME FOR TV AND BOOKS ANYMORE!! PLS KEEL ME NAO!!

actually i shouldnt even be blogging right now but i can’t help myself. I’ve had a rather depressing day with barely anytime for myself so here i am ranting away and letting the world know about the tragedies that seem to like befalling careless ginny and how her day was filled with forgetfulness and tragedies D=

im pretty careless normally but today i seemed to be at higher form than usual WTF

So as usualy la im the queen of last minute assignment wan. so last night cannot sleep properly cuz brain was partially in panic mode but overall i was just too tired to continue so pandai pandai lah go wake up this morning and do. VERY GOOD. finished the assignment with an hour to spare before class starts! actually i thought class was starting an hour earlier (i saw the wrong time on my watch) and went into panic frenzy mode because i thought i was late and while in the spur of frenzies note printings, i didnt noticed that i printed abt 30 PDF files wrongly…. so i had to throw them all aside (to be used a scrap paper) and reprint them in the correct order and alignment again. WUWUUW

den nvm i had to study for quiz then my lecturer said read this article thingie so okay la i go baca la. den because i had an hour to spare i read slowly all thinking that was all i needed to read. 45 mins b4 class i decide okay la im gonna go class early today but packed up my stuff all and then i was left with half an hour.

so i drive to college and lo and behold. tragedy. no parking in my usual spot. rounded for over 20 mins. finally got a parking somewhere much further than i normally park. rushed to class and i was only 5 mins late and quiz already started. TRAGEDY AGAIN. only 1 question from the quiz came form the stupid article. eveyrthing else was from last weeks class which i didnt even bother to read because it was the first time my lecturer sent out a msg telling us that the article reading will be in our quiz. WTF. in panic frenzied mode i could not think and literally almost eveyrthing wrong when in truth they were all very simple answers and i knew them like the back of my hand but the disorientation and rush i was in made my answers go whacked as well.

AND THEN i wanted to whip my phone out to twitter about my tragedy and i realised i left my freaking phone at home?!?!? HOMAIGAD!! tragedy max because immediately after class i was suppose to meet some friends and we hadnt decided on a spot and i didnt have their nos! so i borrowed my friends laptop to attempt to go into fb in hopes they would be online and when the laptop came into my lap the internet decides to fuck up and i cannot sign into my FB T___T

not long after i go down and hand up my assignment that i had not stapled because i wasnt sure if they needed this one extra piece (i brought a staple n staples thinking im damn smart) hand up that time i realise OH FML. NO WONDER IT FELT WEIRD THAT I HAD to write my group mates name n IDS at random places. I FORGOT THE FREAKING COVER PAGE?!?! I MEAN SERIOUSLY??! WHO FORGETS COVER PAGES?!?! sigh. lecturer doesnt realise and i hope she doesnt minus any marks for that U__U or im gonna feel so guilty. but thats not really our final assignment anyway. she makes us hand in weekly basis so our tutor can check on our stuff before the final compilation. I THINK. so she cant really minus marks for me forgetting a cover page right T_T the names and IDs are on all other pages. zzz

so in my stressed mode i skipped half my class drove all the way back because my appt was in abt 45 mins. found my phone told them what happen and collected myself for a while before going out again.

new tragedy arises.

i go out and realise the main gate is open….. it didnt shut when i pressed the remote earlier and because i was in such a rush i didnt turn around to double check and the dog went out when he normally stays in even if the door is open T_T and so i am alte to meet my friends and i spent a good 15-20 mins running around the neighbourhood trying to catch the dog because for some reason he wanted to be defiant and ran off everytime i came near contrary to how he would normally be obedient. he just had to pick a day when i was late to run out and refuse to come back in T_T BEST PART. i was wearing a double layered maxi dress and the sun was super hot.

i swear all the running around, my exercise quota was made.

went to bangsar shopping center and i normally use touch n go but my touch n go didnt have enough credit. ZZZZ

after that nth much happened lar.

but busy non stop until now. its already 12 am and i only had a bit of time for myself just now and i still havent started on my next assignment which i had earlier anticipated that i would have finished by now U_U

actually got a lot more to rant wan but im having headache adi and my arm is aching cuz i have to type with my arms up thanks to my charm bracelets wtf

K THX BYE

Its just one of those days where there’s just so much going on inside that i just want to let it all out. Only, its all a big pile of incoherent mess floating about my head just waiting to pour itself out. Well, here i am staring but nothing i want to say will write itself out and i am pulled further into my deep seed of chaotic confusion.

Its 4am.

I didn’t even realise how that happened.

I wasn’t even angry.

I’ve forgotten how to be angry.

I was just heartbreakingly lost.

The saddest part of it all was finding this out about myself instead; “maybe i just dont care anymore….”

I make up reasons to cry.

I make up these thoughts in hopes of persuading myself otherwise.

Just now.

I didn’t even try to justify my reasons.

Actually, i never really did.

Unexpectedly, everyone saw me become someone else. Everyone that is but me and that one person i undeniably cared about.

I allowed someone else to consume my fire. I allowed myself to be weakened. I allowed myself to give up.

Truth is, I opened up from the beginning and allowed the tunnel to show.

Its been over a year and i am still smashing myself against that indestructible wall.

What is a miracle if even miracles can be broken?

What have i become?

Who am i now?

Why all this for someone who sees nothing but a fight out of a week of contented happiness.

It’s 2005.

Depression is my best friend again.

Funny.

I told myself.

Never again.

I’m suppose to be stronger.

Why did i let my guard down instead?

I guess its true what they say.

Some things just never change.